I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
