We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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