i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
