Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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