Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
well most of my day revolves around power hour
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Randomize
