Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
