I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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