I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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