Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize