I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Too much gin, very little bucket
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
