I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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