i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize