and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize