I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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