The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
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