hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
me + whiskey = a bad person
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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