its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
