I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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