Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
