Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
