No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I believe in your delicious
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
