Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I am available for nakedness
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize