I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
