just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize