There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
