So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
