Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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