i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
