told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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