It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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