Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
