i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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