My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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