I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
