I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
