I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
