Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Drake has all the answers
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize