the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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