in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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