I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
i need to put some appletini on your dick
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