I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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