That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
My liver just had a heart attack.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
