its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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