she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Acid is not a monday night drug
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
