I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
