He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
