i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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