THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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