sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
