the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
