Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
third nipple confirmed
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
