i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
