Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
