Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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