Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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