It's a beautiful day for a hangover
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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