That's intense
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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