I want to stick my p in your. b.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
