I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Randomize
