I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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