Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
