I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
