I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
