I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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