Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
